Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Barf Breath

Here's something that actually happened.
A few months ago, I was sitting on a little stool at work, shelving stuff on the bottom shelves (hence the stool I was seated upon). When lo! a lady came over and cornered me because she didn't want to tell the whole world her special secret. She told me the following story in hushed tones, mere inches from my face:
"Um, hi. Um, I'm not feeling well, and I threw up in the ladies room. I cleaned it up, but you might wanna go and mop or something. But I cleaned it up."
As she told me this, she exhaled right into my face. And because breathing is normal for all people (including myself), I unintentionally inhaled her literal barf breath. I wanted to retch right there, but I was on the clock and it would have drawn attention. It was disgusting. After the lady went back to the computer lab to spread her illness (because the library doesn't have enough malicious germs to make people sick), I went to the staff room to wash my hands in a crazed attempt to cleanse the virus that was surely nestling snugly in my lungs. I kept thinking, If I get sick from her haggish vomit breath, I'm gonna be SO PISSED! I was rather nervous for a week at every sniffle or sneeze I had, but in the end, my constant exposure to disgusting people for the last 5 years has strengthened my immune system sufficiently.
My initial distress over the matter was apparent, and I told a coworker what horrors had befallen me. She was a saint and went to check the women's restroom to assess the situation, but came back reporting that it was not clear wear the barf had landed. We left the cleaning duties to the janitors. I'm not ashamed.

Monday, January 20, 2014

Oh Yeah, I Have a Blog!

I can't even remember what I wrote about last. Or when it was. That's because I've not written anything in months and months...
So, to catch you ghost readers up on all the stuff that's happened (which isn't much) I'm gonna write in this some more! Hold on to your butts.
Since no one reads this, I can probably write about my feelings and whatever without fear of anyone asking me about it later. So, I'm going to vent a tad about birthdays.
I'm not trying to promote my birthday, and I'm not telling when it is just to prove it, but I sorta like my birthday. I don't care about any of the "another year older and wiser too" stuff, but I think that when it's someone's birthday, they should feel happy and just a little bit extra special and awesome.
The reason I'm writing this is because I try to acknowledge the birthdays of my family and friends with thoughtful, if simple, gifts. AND I don't need facebook to remind me. The thing that bugs me is kind of selfish though: no one ever reciprocates! And a "Happy Birthday" facebook message doesn't cut it - in my opinion - if it's from close friends (I mean, I guess it could if it was more than 2 or 3 words...). I guess what my dilemma here is this: I don't feel like trying to be awesome and thoughtful for other people's birthdays when I don't get any of that back, y'know?
To be even MORE whiny, this year, I'm going to be out of state on my birthday because I'm going with my dad on his business trip, which hopefully will be lots of fun, but if I even make a comment of something I'd like to do for my birthday (literally, I mentioned going out to eat), I get the response, "But you're going to California for your birthday." I'm NOT going FOR my birthday, it just coincidentally takes place over my birthday.
Jeez, people, It's my party and I'll want to have fun if I want to!
It comes down to this: everyone should be treated a little extra special on their birthday, including me. Is that so wrong?
Other than that bit of first-world problems, I'm pretty good. My Christmas was nice and easygoing. Since I'm not in school anymore, the "winter break" wasn't any different than usual.
Man, I'm really going to have to rack my brain for stuff to write about because I can't remember anything right now. Oh, I DID watch the movie "Cirque du Soliel: Worlds Away" and thought it was spectacular. I recommend it to anyone who will never make it to a live show because of the ticket price.
In an upcoming post, I'll include some pictures of stuff I've made lately.